If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
ADAM CAROLLAThe truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
ADAM CAROLLA