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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.

Adam Carolla

I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bought Count Counting Lazy Normally Vote
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
ADAM CAROLLA

Common Sense Fist Hand Lawyer Sanitizer
I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLA

Calm Fine Natural Real Realist Sexist Simple
You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
ADAM CAROLLA

Afford Between Bunch Choice Dropped Last Loser Unenviable
The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
ADAM CAROLLA

Adage Believe Grossly Overrated Yourself
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA

Arrival Funny Humor Smell Trumpet
The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
ADAM CAROLLA

Aisle Land Leave People Ten Thing View
Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Diarrhea Funny Hand Humor Riding Roller Coater Sex
This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLA

Circumstance Gay Glider Hate Pomp Star Terrorist
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ball Basketball Game Inspirational Playground Ymca
If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bridge Built Done Meant Women
No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bear Chasing Depressed
If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bird Human Remain Size Street Tax
Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA

Better Emotional Guy Mechanical Stuff Women
The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLA

Beautiful Beauty Definition Miracle Outside Profession
No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
ADAM CAROLLA

Book Comedian Comedy Enjoy Fun Read Reader

The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.

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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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