It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m a comedian, not a politician.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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