When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLAMy motto is “more mystery, less history”.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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I get depressed at airports.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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