Don’t do your best, do my best.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA