You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLARich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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