California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
ADAM CAROLLA