There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
ADAM CAROLLAEveryone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
ADAM CAROLLA