Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
ADAM CAROLLASo most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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