I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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