If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I get depressed at airports.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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