We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
ADAM CAROLLAI like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
ADAM CAROLLA