Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
ADAM CAROLLATelling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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