When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLAThere are certain things women are better at than men.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLA