When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA
My first car was a motorcycle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
ADAM CAROLLA -
There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
ADAM CAROLLA -
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
ADAM CAROLLA -
As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
ADAM CAROLLA