When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
ADAM CAROLLAMy first car was a motorcycle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
-
-
Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
ADAM CAROLLA -
People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLA -
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
ADAM CAROLLA -
There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA -
When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
ADAM CAROLLA -
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
ADAM CAROLLA -
A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
ADAM CAROLLA -
You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
ADAM CAROLLA -
I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA -
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA -
That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
ADAM CAROLLA -
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
ADAM CAROLLA -
If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
ADAM CAROLLA -
He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
ADAM CAROLLA