We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLAI have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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