He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLAI have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
ADAM CAROLLA