People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
ADAM CAROLLAThere is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
ADAM CAROLLA -
As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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I’d never hurt another person.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA