Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLAI guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA