We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLAWell, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA