We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLA
Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
ADAM CAROLLA