People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
ADAM CAROLLAIf you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
ADAM CAROLLA