Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
ADAM CAROLLAIf Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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