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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?

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Country Dude Enough Funny Joy People Television Thinking

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
ADAM CAROLLA

Bag Creative Name Sleep Sleeping Speaking
I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
ADAM CAROLLA

All Artistic Different Favorite Podcasting Radio Script
I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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Audience Monetization Really Secondary Thinking
So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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Admit Bringing Courage God Keep People Suppress
The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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Art Beautiful Car
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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Crocs Down Gay Look Realize Wearing
Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Alter Behaviors Good Help Incentive Shop Tell
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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Building Car Life Some Working Wrenching
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Experience Horrible Job Learned Mean
That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Forever Funny Humor Interesting Philosophical Question
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Breed Cat Certain Like People Performing Radio Stuff Television
There are certain things women are better at than men.
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Better Certain Expert Man Thing Unique Women
I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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Like Performing Radio Stuff Television Watching
Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bed Difficulty Honestly Kind Relaxing Stuff
If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA

Backyard Blond Country Evil Gardner Harder Kibble Lob Molly More
I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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Advertise Good Ice Cream Pie Thinking
When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Basketball Brother Guy Odd Playing Team Yarmulke
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Oprah Read Reading Tell Thinking Women
I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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Bought Count Counting Lazy Normally Vote
If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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Act Boom Country Driven Gay Golf Real Rule Section Value
I don’t know anything about computers.
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Aware Computer Function Know Knowlege Work
I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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Anybody Attention Ill Money Power Thought Towards Will
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Chick Dude Funny More Reason Why
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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Common Sense Fist Hand Lawyer Sanitizer
I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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Blue Collar Doofus Guy Valley
All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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Army Decent Government Manageable Rate Regulation Standing Tax
Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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Back Believe Build Door Job Overwhelming Stand Stuff

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