The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

ADAM CAROLLA

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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

Adam Carolla

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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA

Mechanical Stuff
Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

ADAM CAROLLA

Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
ADAM CAROLLA

Attracted Chick Doing Love Dude Successful
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
ADAM CAROLLA

Conservative Stories Use
I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.

ADAM CAROLLA

I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bought Count Counting Normally
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

ADAM CAROLLA

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
ADAM CAROLLA

Definitely Drama Making
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.

ADAM CAROLLA

[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
ADAM CAROLLA

Fat Overwhelmed Sending
They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLA

Advertize Bejeeezus Commercial Out Pie Seen Yogurt
I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.

ADAM CAROLLA

I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLA

Fine Real Realist Sexist Simple
If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
ADAM CAROLLA

Conservative
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
ADAM CAROLLA

Chick Mean Successful
Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

ADAM CAROLLA

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLA

Figure Nap Out
It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
ADAM CAROLLA

Funnier
The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Boom Fast Next Podcast Radio Segment Thing Very
We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
ADAM CAROLLA

Asian Hispanic Together White Working
Welfare is monetary methadone.
ADAM CAROLLA

Heo Methadone Monetary Organisation Welfare
We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Motivate Respond Somebody Stimuli

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

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