I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
ADAM CAROLLAI know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
ADAM CAROLLA