I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
ADAM CAROLLAYou’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
ADAM CAROLLA