That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
ADAM CAROLLAPeople have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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