Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
ADAM CAROLLA
Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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