I’m a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLAThe best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
ADAM CAROLLA