I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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