I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLA. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
ADAM CAROLLA