Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARXShe’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX






