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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

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Bad Day Evening Wonderful

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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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