If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX