Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARXYou can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX






