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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.

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Huff Humour Leave

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX

Born Democracy People Republic
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Finding Happiness Hard Time Healing Laugh
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Enough Learning Mistake Yourself
Any place I hang my head is home.
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Hang Head Home One Liner Place
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Applesauce Cranberry Taste
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Father Funny Humour Plastic Surgeon Surgeon Women
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Bed Inspirational Lazy One Liner Worth
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Bore Hole Insult Run
Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Fly Love Money Reality Truth
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Billion Birthday Cells Life One Liner
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Doubt Interfere Marriage People Romance Sex Wife
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Exception Face Forget Humour
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Attitude Life Principles Rules
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Advance Luck One Liner Welcome Women
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Attitude Down Human Nature Myself Pick
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX

Huff Humour Leave
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Funny Hero Heroine Tits

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