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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.

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Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX

Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX

Freedom Money Thinking
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Fools Trouble Writing Yourself
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX

Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX

Bad Day Evening Wonderful
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX

Equality Freedom Prejudices
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Love Man Myself
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX

Exitement Fun Life One Liner Travel Wrong
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX

Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX

Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Confidence
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX

Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Judge Jury Marriage One Liner
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX

Art Humour Water
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX

Born Democracy People Republic
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX

Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX

Billion Birthday Cells Life One Liner
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Birthday Live Old Problem
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX

Interesting Reality Sense Theory
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX

Interest Naked Sex True
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX

Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX

Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater

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