Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARXShe’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX