Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARXNext time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX