I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARXEach morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX