Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX