She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX