Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXIn studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX