The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX