Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXShe got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX