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I intend to live forever, or die trying.

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Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX

Bed Inspirational Lazy One Liner Worth
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Judge Jury Marriage One Liner
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX

Anatomy Judgement Poverty
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX

Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Down Human Nature Myself Pick
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX

Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Meet Night Own Theater
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Leadership Man Women
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX

Interesting Reality Sense Theory
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX

Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Mind Smoking
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX

Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX

Bad Day Evening Wonderful
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX

Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX

Poverty State Work
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX

Hang Head Home One Liner Place
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX

Advance Luck One Liner Welcome Women
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Birthday Live Old Problem
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX

Drunk Febuary Morning
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX

Fly Love Money Reality Truth
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX

Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX

Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX

Born Democracy People Republic
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX

Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Humour Read Room Television
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Confidence

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