Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARXI intend to live forever, or die trying.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX