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The only real laughter comes from despair.

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Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace

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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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