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The only real laughter comes from despair.

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Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX

Admit Age Born Early Life
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX

Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX

Human Nature Humour Important One Liner Speak
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX

Education Heart Heart Beat Listen Metabolism Study
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX

Enough Inspirational Mistake Yourself
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX

Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX

Angry Funny One Liner Towel
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX

Born Democracy People Republic
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Age Birthday Interesting Subject
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX

Demotivate Idiot Insult Life Stupidity
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX

Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Love Man Myself
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX

Billion Birthday Cells Life One Liner
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX

Bless Crack Light One Liner
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX

Education Love One Liner Reading
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX

Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Humour Laughter Moments Read
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX

Exception Face Forget Humour
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX

Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX

Interest Naked Sex True
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Madness One Liner Reason
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX

Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Life Principles Rules

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