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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.

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Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket

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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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