I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARXA man is only as old as the woman he feels.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX