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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

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Army Contradiction Intelligence Military One Liner

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX

Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Enough Learning Mistake Yourself
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Attitude Confidence
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Attitude Down Human Nature Myself Pick
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Children Love Mother
All geniuses die young.
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Die Genius One Liner Young
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Book Education Humour Read Room Television
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Insult One Liner Respect
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Crazy Decent Life Meal Place Reality
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Interest Naked Sex True
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX

Exception Face Forget Humour
Humour is reason gone mad.
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Humour Madness One Liner Reason
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Exitement Fun Life One Liner Travel Wrong
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX

Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX

Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Love Man Romance Room
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX

Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX

Interesting Reality Sense Theory
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Billion Birthday Cells Life One Liner

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