Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARXMilitary intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX