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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX

Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX

Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX

Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX

Angry Funny One Liner Towel
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX

Fly Love Money Reality Truth
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX

Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX

Enough Inspirational Mistake Yourself
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX

Choose Happiness Misery Money
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX

Exception Face Forget Humour
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX

Love Man Romance Room
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Birthday Live Old Problem
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX

Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX

Born Democracy People Republic
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX

Animal Black Cat Cross Funny Humour Path
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX

Human Nature Humour Important One Liner Speak
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX

Equality Freedom Prejudices
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX

Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Madness One Liner Reason
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX

Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Age Birthday Interesting Subject
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Fools Trouble Writing Yourself
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX

Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace

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