Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARXOnly one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX