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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

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Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Die Forever Inspirational One Liner Positive Try
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Funny Humour Mind Smoking
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Children Fetch Funny Understand
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Bless Crack Light One Liner
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Insult One Liner Respect
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Attitude Life Principles Rules
Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Enough Learning Mistake Yourself
I only write first editions.
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Attitude Edition One Liner Writing
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Age Birthday Interesting Subject
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Finding Happiness Hard Time Healing Laugh
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Interest Naked Sex True
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Against Attitude
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Anatomy Judgement Poverty
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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Interesting Reality Sense Theory
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Event Eyes Happiness Inspirational Morning Myself Power Present Unhappiness
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX

Education Heart Heart Beat Listen Metabolism Study

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