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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

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Equality Freedom Prejudices

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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX

Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Comfortable Dog Goodness Peace Woman
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX

Ex Girl Look Pain Past Sad
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX

Love Man Romance Room
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX

Deal Fake Honesty Humour Life Secret
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX

Finding Happiness Hard Time Healing Laugh
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX

Admit Age Born Early Life
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX

Enough Learning Mistake Yourself
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX

Angry Funny One Liner Towel
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Age Birthday Interesting Subject
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Meet Night Own Theater
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX

Book Education Reading Television

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