A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXThe secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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All geniuses die young.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX