A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARXThe secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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All geniuses die young.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Time wounds all heels.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX