Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXIf you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX