When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARXIf you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX