Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARXAnyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX