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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

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Funny Missing One Liner Women

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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Hang Head Home One Liner Place
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Father Funny Humour Plastic Surgeon Surgeon Women
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Exception Face Forget Humour
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Humour Meet Night Own Theater
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Club Freedom Member
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Interest Naked Sex True
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Man One Liner Success Victory Wife Woman
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Attitude Confidence
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Against Attitude
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Book Fools Trouble Writing Yourself
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Love Man Romance Room
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Birthday Live Old Problem
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Applesauce Cranberry Taste
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Anatomy Judgement Poverty
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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Choose Happiness Misery Money
Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Angry Funny One Liner Towel
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Equality Freedom Prejudices
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Clothes Sex Sexy Triumphed Women
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Army Justice Military Music One Liner
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Book Education Reading Television
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner

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