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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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